Mother of 6 charges sister's family $250 for staying at her house for a weekend: 'I did a grocery run before arriving. I never wanted to be a burden on her.'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jul 9, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

Money is such a tricky topic to broach, especially among family members. You can get away with never really talking about specific finances with your friends, but with family, it's inevitable. It's even more inevitable when you travel together and do things together regularly. Some people are strict splitters: you put down two cards at every table, and you'll pay evenly down the line by golly. Others are even more specific: they want everyone to pay for exactly what they ordered, with no exceptions. I know people who will fight you so that they can cover every check that ever comes between you too. Then you have to do the song and dance of "No, I insist," and the ball starts rolling.

One woman found herself in a strange financial situation with her sister. After staying at her sister's house for the weekend, she asked her to give her $250 to cover costs. 

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    via Alexander Grey

    Photo does not feature the real subject in the story

  • 02
    My married sister invited my family for the weekend and charged me $250 as we were heading out.
    via u/Reasonable_Exam_4759
  • 03
    We drove 6 hours to visit her family. All weekend long she was talking about inflation and how much it costs to feed a family. When were giving our goodbye hugs she asked if we don't mind pitching into the costs of the weekend. I asked her how much she thinks is fair and she said $250. I handed her cash a said goodbye. Has anything similar ever happened to you?
    via u/Reasonable_Exam_4759
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    Edit: In response to some questions that have come up multiple times. I have a habit of keeping cash on me every time I travel. Been doing that for years. My sister actually has a large family of 6 kids who each eat more than anyone in my family.
    via u/Reasonable_Exam_4759
  • 05
    I gave her the money because I don't feel $250 is worth fighting about but I understand those who'd have put their foot down. I actually did a grocery run before arriving at her house so we wouldn't be snacking on her food. We also bought the drinks and bread and some other stuff that we all ate together. I never wanted to be a burden on her.
    via u/Reasonable_Exam_4759
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    bodhidharma132001 2 days ago Never happened to me, but she should have talked to you before the trip.
    via u/bodhidharma132001
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    surfdad67 2 days ago edited 2 days ago I agree, I've foot the bill for many family gathering where we've spent over $1,000 on food and stuff, we have never asked for help in paying for it, even though I've floated the question a couple times to the wife. but if I did, I definitely would be upfront about it, and it would be voluntary. kinda to be asked while you are on your way out, sours the whole trip.
    via u/surfdad67
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    Grouchy-Big-229 - 2 days ago Alternatively, pitch in during the stay. I've done this when visiting family, either picking up a meal, buying more drinks, buying groceries. It's a lot easier than forking over some cash at the end.
    via u/Grouchy-Big-229
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    talrakken 2 days ago This is what we do when we're not hosting. Now that said best way to handle this is to rotate the host then you spread the responsibility in a way that doesn't require people traveling to pitch in.
    via u/talrakken
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    HamRadio_73. 2 days ago Next time your sister "invites" you to a gathering ask upfront what it's going to cost you. If she's sketchy or non-committal decide whether you want to attend.
    via u/HamRadio_73
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    D_A_H 2 days ago My poor grandma just wanted all of her daughters together for Thanksgiving. We lived in Jersey, one aunt in Florida and we held Tday at my aunts in VA as it was kind of central. Found out many years later my crappy aunt in VA would make my grandma buy and bring all the food down, she pent all weekend cooking all the food she brought, my aunt made her pay $1000 for us all to stay in more than accommodating sized house, and then made my grandma pay for a cleaning service to come i
    via u/D_A_H
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    who_am_i_to_say_so 2 days ago You don't invite people to do things that you cannot afford.
    via u/who_am_i_to_say_so
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    odkfn 2 days ago This. If I invite friends over for dinner I get all the alcohol and other drinks in, I get the food bought and made and I wouldn't expect anything. The one exception is if we pre agree to have a takeaway then we either pay our own or just split the bill or whatever.
    via u/odkfn
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    Full-Librarian1115 · 2 days ago I do this too, often have my whole family over and spend hundreds of dollars on food and wine etc and never ask for anything from them. We've also had people over planning to do Chinese takeout (which is a 20 min drive in each direction for us) and usually decline offers to help with the cost.
    via u/Full-Librarian1115
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    My sister, on the other hand, will tell everyone what their share is to the penny and ask for an electronic transfer before you even leave. She'll come with her two kids to my house and eat all day and smile on the way out the door and then immediately forget she did it the next time she hosts.
    via u/Full-Librarian1115
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    John Denver 2 days ago edited 1 day ago One of my friends has a sore spot on this - a friend had invited them to his house for spaghetti dinner. Another friend owns a brewery and brought the beer. Apparently they had rotated between who hosts. At the end the host asks for $100 each - for homemade spaghetti. Now ex- friend.
    via u/JohnNDenver
  • 17
    lenaloveslatex · 2 days ago Ask her to pay for your gas.
    via u/lenaloveslatex
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    mylittledirty_secret 2 days ago edited 2 days ago This reminds me of that one skit on tiktok where the mom who invited the other mom over for a playdate charged her $12 for the "fee" of having a play date Give her the money gracefully and don't go out with her again my god is she stingy and that's your blood sister?! I understand bringing a plate over or offering to buy some pizza but a whole fee is crazy.
    via u/mylittledirty_secret
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    Texas_Crazy_Curls - 2 days ago I'm actually blown away by her audacity. If she couldn't afford to feed everyone then she shouldn't have invited you guys over. That would be like throwing a party and expecting the guests to pay on their way out the door. I've gone on trips where a house is rented and everybody chips in on lodging and food. That is discussed prior to the vacation.
    via u/Texas_Crazy_Curls

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